Self-esteem Challenge: Day 15

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 15:
Why do you think people are attracted to you, either friend-wise or romantically?
Do you like your personal appearance? If so why? If not what are some ways you could view yourself differently?

war with myself

I honestly have no idea. Because I’m nice perhaps? I am often surprised by the way people feel about me. It isn’t often that people tell you what they think of you point blank. I usually assume people think of me the way I think of myself, but when they think better of me, I am quite surprised and find it hard to believe…especially when it’s people who don’t know me very well.

You know who is really attracted to me? Solicitors and homeless people…basically anyone asking for money, signatures or some sort of charity. I don’t know how they pick me out of the crowd, but they all make a beeline toward me when they see me. I try to avoid eye contact. I get stopped by at least 3 or 4 times a day when I go to work. It’s like I have a sticker on my forehead that says “I’m too nice to say no”. I have stopped carrying cash so I can honestly say, that I don’t have any money on me. Knowing my luck, they’ll start carrying those portable debit machines pretty soon.

I do not like my personal appearance. Some days I don’t think about the way I look. I am grateful for those days. Other days, I hate it so much I feel like I can’t go out. I don’t want to be seen by people and it doesn’t matter if they are people I know or not or if I’ll see them again or not. I let being ashamed of the way I look stop me from going to work, seeing family or just going out for a run. I’m angry with myself for letting my appearance matter so much.

 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Hayley
    Jul 25, 2014 @ 09:37:06

    I get targeted by the charity people too. What I normally do is say “Do you need to be 18 to sign up for this? I’m 17.” Then they let me go. I’ve been using that for the last 6 years haha. Might need to come up with a new excuse soon, most of them don’t believe me anymore!

    Reply

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