Self-esteem Challenge: Day 24

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 24:
What is your definition of “beautiful”?
Do you compare yourself to others? How can you be more focused on yourself?

“Beautiful” describes something/someone that is pleasing to the senses or the mind. That’s my definition at least. To consider someone or something beautiful is subjective. Sometimes something that is ordinary or even repulsive to one person can be beautiful to another. I mentioned in a recent post that I think sharks are beautiful. I bet there aren’t too many people that would agree with me. Most would find them scary or think nothing of them.

Of course I compare myself to others! Who doesn’t at some point or another. My problem is that I do it about everything and I do it too often. Also, I only do it for when I am at the disadvantage. I compare myself to people who are or have things that I want and I ignore what I already have. For instance, I have plenty of education. I don’t compare myself to people with less or more, I just don’t think about it. It’s like its a total write off because I already have it. If I can do it, then anyone can and it loses its worth. I know, this is a cognitive distortion and I need to adopt a new way of thinking…..working on it.

I keep looking at people in similar circumstances to myself who have it all together and envy them. How come they can manage to make their lives so great and I can barely keep up with mine. It’s not like my life is any harder than theirs, yet they seem to have good jobs, own a home and be having kids already…things that seem too far out of reach for me. I guess its important to remember when my brain goes down this route, that I don’t know everything. Maybe there is something they aren’t telling me or maybe once you get past the outside, they are hanging on for dear life just like me. I don’t want that to be the case, but everyone fights their battles that the rest of us know nothing about. Maybe to them, I appear to have it all together…haha….who knows.