At the beginning of September, I was at an all-time low. Psych had recommended changing my Fluoxetine (Prozac) and Bupropion (Welbutrin) to Quentiapine (Seroquel or Q) and Bupropion instead. Q was supposed to treat depression as well as the sleep problems I was having. I wrote a post about it here and then abruptly left you guys hanging for several months.
So what happened with Q? At the last post, I had been on a nightly dose of 50mg of Q for a few days. I decided that I had to keep going with it. It is important to give medication time to work before ruling it out all together. I lasted a few more days before I swore it off. You see, I blame Q for my most recent embarrassing moment!
I cringe just thinking about it. I was on the bus on my way home from work. I was uncomfortable because adjusting to Q had been making me nauseous and the bus only amplified it. I had been dealing with it for about a week and I was handling it. I’m no stranger to nausea. I normally get motion sickness riding buses or in the back seat of a car. I’m never actually sick though, thankfully. I threw up a lot as a kid. I think it was an anxiety thing. Anyway, the benefit to this is that I know my body pretty well and I know the difference between “I’m going to throw-up” nausea and just plain motion sickness.
So, here I am sitting on the bus in rush hour traffic. The bus is packed and I’m nauseous as usual. Whatever, this is my life. But, suddenly, I start getting a different feeling in my throat. It’s like the lining of my throat is being pulled downward into my stomach. That’s it. That’s my signal. I know I’m going to throw up! I know I have 30 seconds at the very most. This is what was going through my head….
“OMG I’m really going to be sick. It’s actually going to happen this time! It can’t. I have to get off the bus!”
*Turns head to see where we are and signal stop*
“Noooo!! We just got on the highway! The bus can’t stop and I’m not going to make it to the next stop! What am I going to do?!” The window! I’m sitting next to the window, I’ll open it.”
*Grabs the handle and pushes the window open all the way…….it opens about 2 inches.*
“Aaaagh!! What am I going to do now?! Press my mouth into the opening and projectile vomit onto the car next to me?! It’s going to splash back all over me. What else can I do??? A bag!!”
*Frantically searches through tote bag for a plastic bag, a tupperware, kleenex, anything…but there’s nothing*
“OMG! Running out of time!”
*Looks around for somewhere to be sick*
“I’m out of options! I’m stuck, there are so many people. The seat beside me is occupied, the window is on my other side, there is someone directly in front of me, seated at the end of my knees. There is just enough room on the floor for my feet and the person’s next to me…..”
Time is up. I convulsed. Everyone looked. It wasn’t pretty.