This is week 5 of The 2015 Art Project. The assignment was to create a self representation and give it wings. My self-representation doesn’t really look like me, but she is female, has brown eyes and the hair is close enough, so we’ll call her me. I gave her pixie wings instead of the typical angel wings. I felt like angel wings would make her seem dead. I’m not dead yet!
I have no problem with putting myself out there, the spreading your wings part. It’s the where to go once you get the wings out part that I feel I am stuck at. For a long time, I was just doing what I thought everyone else wanted me to do. I wanted to make everyone happy and proud of me. For the most part, I reached that goal, but I was a total mess. I wasn’t sleeping, I hated myself, my depression was the worst it had ever been and I was completely exhausted. I wanted to give up and for a while, I did. What’s the point of working so hard to please people if it doesn’t make you happy? There is no point. So I took a step back to think about what would actually make me happy. Right now, art journaling brings me joy. I haven’t really figured out the long term yet though. I found a good quote to reflect these feelings. It’s about flying and not knowing where to go. It basically says that the miracle is in spreading your wings. In my case, the miracle would be realizing that I need to base my life on something other than having everyone’s good opinion.
Now for the art part. I started off with a layer of white gesso. Next I put blobs of paint on the spread; dark blue, light blue and purple. I mixed those about with my fingers. It was kind of fun, lol. I made swirls here and there using my swirl stencil and Sharpie paint markers. I started to write the quote in, but it was hard to read with the colours and the swirls in the background, so I gesso’d over it and tried again. The black signo uniball ink showed up much clearer over the white gesso. I scribbled blue neocolour II around the gesso’d area to transition it into the background a bit better. The last touch was the star stamp using silver ink.
The figure was drawn in my Strathmore recycled sketchbook. She was coloured with regular pencil crayons and outlined using various gel pens. I outlined the whole drawing in blue Sharpie to make it easier and less delicate to cut out. She looks worried because she feels lost, like I do. She’s not sure where to go from here.
Here is the whole spread…