Ahhhhh, I dropped the ball on this challenge! It’s not that I haven’t had the time to write a post. I have. I just haven’t felt up to it. I guess I am sinking into another depressive episode.
Most people think “sad” when they hear someone is depressed. For me, being depressed has nothing to do with sad. It is hopelessness. Nothing is important, nothing is interesting, you hate yourself and everything is difficult. The worst part is, life is going to stay like this. Everyday, you push yourself to do the things that are required of you. Sometimes you succeed, which gives you no satisfaction and sometimes you fail which makes you hate yourself some more. Everyday is like this regardless of how hard you push yourself. It just goes on and on like this until you start to wonder, what’s the point?
I started to do some reading about hopelessness. I guess I was looking for ways to overcome it. Anyway, I found out there are nine different types of hopelessness. Wow. There are nine different ways I can feel like this. Great. They all stem from one or more basic needs being disrupted. I was going to summarize the nine types for you, but this article is so short, you can read it. The article is heavy on CBT which, if you read my “C” post, you know I am not a fan of personally. CBT does make sense though, there is no arguing that.
In the end, I think learning about the nine different types of hopelessness will be helpful for me. Feelings are abstract and hard to understand, but they are always tied to a thought or set of circumstances. They don’t just occur in a vacuum on their own. Instead of trying to combat the hopeless feeling itself, I can determine what is causing it or which basic needs are being disrupted. At least this way I have something more concrete to work with.
Give the article a read. Tell me what you think.