If We Were Having Coffee — Return to the Blog

coffee beans

If we were having coffee… I wouldn’t really know where to begin. Maybe a cup of coffee, a treat and a “Hi. How are you? I’m still here and I’ve missed you.” would be a good place to start.

Really though, what do you say when you disappear without warning for nearly 7 months? I have been wanting to start writing again for a while, but just didn’t know where to begin. I think the only way to do it is to just jump in. I thought Part-Time Monster’s Weekend Coffee Share would be a good place to get the ball rolling again.

If we were having coffee… I would say that I never intended to disappear. It just sort of happened. Things were not going well, I was not well and I didn’t think sharing my misery was worth it. I planned to wait until the fog lifted a bit. Well, the fog hung around. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and well, here we are, 7 months later.

If we were having coffee… I’d want to know about all the adventures you had while I was MIA. I would hope you’d have some good memories and news to share.

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you about my adventures over the last while too. I’d tell you my sister got married in May. It was a small wedding, just family. She seems pretty happy. I’m glad.

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you Hubby got hired by a fancy private school. It was a big relief. Since enrollment at the school board he is tenured at had dropped, they didn’t have a position for him. The private school has taken some getting used to, but he has not been sworn at, spat on or shoved by any of the students yet. I’d say that’s an improvement already!

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you I turned 30 in June. I was not happy to hit the big 3-0, but my birthday cake was pretty yummy, so maybe it was worth it.

If we were having coffee… I’d show you some of the pictures from our trip to Costa Rica. It was my first time in the Pacific Ocean. Being the low season, we had the hotel pool and beach garden to ourselves most of the time. We also took a few day trips; snorkeling, hiking a volcano and swimming in natural hot springs under waterfalls. I was in complete awe. Living in a big city you sometimes forget these magical places exist.

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you I missed the latter half of the summer. I got the flu/pneumonia/sinusitis from hell. It ended up sending me to the hospital where they quarantined me. They thought it was meningitis at first. The only way to diagnose that is a spinal tap. That was an adventure all on it’s own. It is nothing like you see on House or Grey’s Anatomy. Anyway, to make a long story short, it was scary, it lasted about a month and I feel much better now.

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I started dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) last month. It consists of group therapy and an individual therapy session every week. I am trying to keep an open mind, but I’m not sure it is what I need.

If we were having coffee… I would tell you that the situation with my supervisor got worse. Much worse. I was going to quit, but, then it got better. For the last year I have been talking to her about problems we are having in the lab and the communication problems she and I have. I don’t know if she wasn’t understanding me, or if she wasn’t listening or what. I thought I was pretty clear. Anyway, I took one more stab at it and for some reason, this time I got through. This time she heard me. We were both in her office tearing up. She apologized for everything, especially not listening to me. I really appreciated that. Things haven’t gone back to normal and I don’t think they will, but I am so relieved. It is so much easier to go to work now.

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I am still stuck in terms of the research I am doing for my Ph.D. I am trying to focus on the positive things. Speaking of, I had another publication come out this month. It is good for my CV, but the excitement of being published dies pretty quickly when the people who matter don’t read it because they have no idea what you are talking about. I guess I can’t blame them for that.

If we were having coffee… I’d apologize for keeping you so long! I hope you have a great weekend. I am looking forward to next week.

This conversation coffee post is part of a weekly link-up hosted by Part-Time Monster. Join the fun!

34 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. trentpmcd
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 10:05:22

    It’s great to see you back! And yes, just jumping back in is a great way to start. Thanks for sharing what has happened in the last 7 months. At one time you were talking about your husband getting a job way up north – I hope this new job is closer to home! And 30 is young 😉 I’m really glad your relationship with your boss is improving! There is little worse than having a bad relationship with your boss.

    Thanks for the coffee. It was good catching up with you. I hope it isn’t another seven months 😉


    • somberscribbler
      Oct 25, 2015 @ 09:45:36

      I hope it’s not another 7 months either. I have missed the community that comes with blogging..and drawing. There hasn’t been any of that either. Hubby did get the job up north, but the private school job was a decent offer and it didn’t involve us uprooting our lives. His commute has gone from 1.5 hours to 30min. What a difference!


      • trentpmcd
        Oct 25, 2015 @ 10:11:17

        30 minute commute is not bad. 1.5 hours? That’s a bit much.

        I’ve been too busy to draw lately, though i did a drawing for a story on 10/16 (the first of my new ‘creepy” stories). I hope you do get back into drawing!

      • somberscribbler
        Oct 25, 2015 @ 10:14:13

        Island traffic makes getting around here a bit ridiculous, especially when there is a bridge involved!

  2. Carrie Lynn
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 10:11:57

    if we were having coffee, I’d hug you tightly and charge the last 7 months to life’s wake up calls. You had a lot on your plate, we all do and we all cope differently. So, lets just let the past in the past and start all over again. Hi, I’m Carrie and I’ve missed you a lot.


    • somberscribbler
      Oct 25, 2015 @ 09:47:13

      Hi Carrie! I have missed you too…and your beautiful girl portraits! Your skills have grown so much since we first met. I am so proud of you. I am looking forward to sticking around and seeing more. Hopefully I will get back into it too.


      • Carrie Lynn
        Oct 27, 2015 @ 02:02:25

        Thank you for the sweet words Somber. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I look forward to your art works too. One day at a time my dear friend.

  3. C J Alan
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 11:20:54

    Don’t feel too bad about going MIA, It happened to me as well. For me it was work though that took up 7 days a week.
    Glad to see you back, and thank you for the coffee!


  4. Christy Barongan
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 11:22:46

    Glad to see you in the blogosphere again. I’ve missed you and I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such a difficult time.


  5. Deb
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 11:29:43

    Welcome back! I’ve missed you! Sorry to hear about your illness. Never a good time!


  6. Robin Rivera
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 11:51:08

    Nice to see you back. I saw your avatar pop up somewhere the other day and it made me smile. I had no idea it had been 7 months! It will be great to start seeing your artwork in my Twitter feed again. I’ve been taking the advice you gave me about my kids and their artwork, and I think it’s working. They sure love all the new art supplies I keep buying them at least. : ) Thanks for coffee.


    • somberscribbler
      Oct 25, 2015 @ 09:52:14

      Thanks for stopping by! Times goes so quickly when you aren’t paying attention. I guess this is why mindfulness is so important. I am glad your kids are putting on their art hats. There are so many different mediums to work with out there. I think I only used acrylics and pencil in school. That stuff is no fun compared to all the other possibilities.


  7. Norm 2.0
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 14:54:16

    Welcome back! Sounds like you’ve been through a lot – glad you made it out the other side okay 🙂


  8. Corina
    Oct 24, 2015 @ 15:51:16

    It’s good to see you back. I’m sorry you’ve been unwell. The hubby’s job sounds like a big improvement! Yay! And a belated happy birthday! May the coming year be good to you!


  9. Gulara
    Oct 25, 2015 @ 04:15:12

    It’s wonderful you are writing again. It sounds like you had busy several months. As to PhD research, it’s a rollercoaster. I remember well the excitement of getting published turning into pressure to produce more. Getting published is no small achievement, congratulations! Keep going.


    • somberscribbler
      Oct 25, 2015 @ 09:56:58

      Thank you. As a Dr, you probably understand the perils of research. I am hoping with the new government here in Canada, some of the research funding Harper took away will be given back.


      • Gulara
        Oct 25, 2015 @ 12:02:33

        Yes, I do. I was incredibly lucky to be fully funded. I had friends who were not and it was seriously intense for them… I do hope the government gives funding back to research in Canada. It’s very hard to do it without.

  10. Claudia H. Blanton
    Oct 25, 2015 @ 13:29:36

    Welcome back! Good for you and your husband to have that new job. Hope it stays positive. I would not have the patience to be a teacher, so I am impressed by anyone who is. Blessings and have a great week!


  11. Diana
    Oct 25, 2015 @ 14:52:51

    Glad to see you back around. Sounds like you’ve had a hell of a few months…And it seems like the year itself has been a roller coaster.

    Grad school and research can be so draining, especially if you’re already in a spiral. Congrats on the publications, and glad you’ve managed to keep going despite the troubles.


  12. Robin
    Oct 25, 2015 @ 15:43:15

    It sounds as though your 7 month blogging break was full of so many ups and downs. Congratulations on being published! I well remember my husband’s first publication when he was a grad student. I didn’t understand it, but read it anyway. 🙂


  13. Ula
    Oct 25, 2015 @ 16:25:20

    Welcome back! Thanks for the update and coffee. You’ve been up to a lot. Costa Rica sounds wonderful. I dream of moving there.
    I did group therapy a few years ago (not DBT) and looking back it’s something you hate while you’re in it and afterwards, but then you see the usefulness of it after some time. I realized that the therapy was something different than I thought it was when I was in it. If that makes sense.


    • somberscribbler
      Oct 26, 2015 @ 11:53:25

      I am hoping you are right about the DBT. It is just really frustrating right now. Costa Rica was lovely, but it was Belize that really took my breath away. I wouldn’t mind moving there and snorkeling their barrier reef on a regular basis.


  14. weebluebirdie
    Oct 26, 2015 @ 05:12:31

    Good to see you back. I’ve missed you 🙂 Life has had you on quite a roller coaster these last few months. I think it’s best to just to jump in and start in the middle. I’ve stopped beating myself up about not posting regularly. I still read and connect even when I’m not posting, and as you say that’s the bit that matters.


  15. NotAPunkRocker
    Oct 26, 2015 @ 09:52:13

    I drag on my blogging in general on the weekends now, including reading, so I am glad I saw this today! (((HUGS)))


  16. Mental Mama
    Oct 26, 2015 @ 11:34:30

    It took me nearly 8 months of DBT before it made any kind of sense. I ended up finishing a full year of it and I’m glad I did. There are still some days I’m not able to draw on my skills like I would like to be able to, but I’m no where near as bad off as I was. I’m glad to hear that you’re still alive and fighting the good fight. I missed you. ❤


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