Self-esteem Challenge: Day 27

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Do you often accept compliments? If not, why?
What is the main barrier to you having positive self esteem? How can you break free from it?

I’d say I don’t believe compliments, but I keep that to myself. I have become better at gracefully accepting them. The polite thing to do is just say thank you. Compliments make me uncomfortable, so I say thank you and try to change the subject as quickly as possible. A friend once told me rejecting a compliment is like slapping the other person in the face. By not accepting it, you are saying they are wrong, have bad taste or their opinion isn’t valid. That made sense to me, so I’m trying to be more polite these days.

The main barrier to my having positive self-esteem is me and I can’t break free from that. I mean, I am kind of stuck with myself, so all I can do it try to adapt…which I am trying, but it’s going so slowly, if at all. I think another little barrier I have is being in school. I am in an environment where I am always surrounded by experts and am constantly learning. How do you learn? By trying and making mistakes. So if each day is just full of mistakes and the only people I have to compare myself to are the experts, well, you see where I am going. I am hoping that by finishing school I can move on to somewhere where I am the expert in my field and I am working with people who have different, but related expertise. I’m hoping I wont always be the student.

This drawing has absolutely nothing to do with the associated post

Self-esteem Challenge: Day 26

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 26:
What is your favorite compliment to give and receive, and why?
When’s the last time you were too hard on yourself? What do you think you could have done to treat and comfort yourself instead?

I think my favourite compliment to give and receive is something along the lines of “good work”. Doing a good job is important to me and something I always try to accomplish in anything that I do. So hearing “good work” means I have been successful. If I’m telling someone else “good work” it means they have accomplished the same thing and hopefully my acknowledging that makes them feel good.

It definitely wasn’t the last time I was hard on myself, but it is the time that sticks out most in my mind. My Master’s degree. I should have celebrated it. I should have let myself feel the accomplishment. I regret sweeping that under the rug, especially now as I watch my sister-in-law finish her Master’s degree. She’s on cloud nine lapping up all the praise. All I felt when I got my M.Sc. was guilt. I didn’t deserve it. Nevermind the paper I published from my thesis, the four experts that applauded my defense or the database that is used internationally! I ignored it all and came to the conclusion that I didn’t deserve it. What is wrong with me?!

Self-esteem Challenge: Day 25

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 25:
Do you often compliment other people?
If you met a person that was just like you, would you like them? If so why? If not how could you view this person more positively?

When something about someone stands out, I definitely compliment them. I try to remember to do it every day, but some days I guess I just don’t pick up on things. It might have to do with my mood….if I’m stuck in my own head, I guess I’m not too perceptive. I think its important for a compliment to be genuine. I hate it when people compliment you on something, but they really mean the opposite. I find high school girls do this a lot. Thankfully most of them grow out of it, but there are always a few that don’t. I know a few of them. I never take anything they say seriously.

I think if I met a person like me I would like them. The parts I don’t like or think are pathetic about myself are not the parts that show often. I deal with my self-doubt and internal monologue everyday, but it’s not something that is apparent to most people on the outside….or at least that’s what I’d like to think.