Resolution Humbug

I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I guess I always feel like I am setting myself up for failure. These resolutions are always based on what you feel you “should” be doing rather than what is really important to you. Not to mention the horrible timing! You are adjusting to being in the real world again after the holidays and the whole year is stretching on ahead of you…plus, you are going to throw in some new goals on top of that?! No thank you! Why do so many of us wait for this one particular day a year to make changes to our lives? What is wrong with the other 364 days of the year?

What I am a fan of is reflection. I think it’s important to look back over the last year and celebrate the highlights again. There is also value in remembering the disappointments. What did you learn? How have you grown?  Game-changers are important to think about too. Are your priorities still the same? What were they at this time last year? How have they changed?

My 2014 Highlights

  • One-year wedding anniversary
  • Little sister got engaged
  • Discovered blogging
  • Started drawing again
  • Hubby got tenure at work
  • San Fransisco work trip
  • NYC summer trip
  • Government scholarship

My 2014 Disappointments

  • Insomnia, the worst I’ve ever had
  • Weight gain
  • Tenure means nothing — Hubby was lucky to have a position this year and there may not be room for him next year
  • Getting ethics for my research took all year and they want constant progress reports
  • Sick leave for depression
  • Had to bail on a conference due to depression (had already bought the plane ticket!! ugh!)

The 2014 Game-changers

  • Hubby’s tenure. To be tenured at hubby’s school board you need to have a full-time teaching contract in your name for two years and a day. He fulfilled these requirements in September of 2013…..exhale! Tenure means the school board will always have a job for him. Since we knew he was going to be working at this school board for a while, we started thinking about moving closer. This notion came to a screeching hault in spring 2014 when we found out high school enrollment was down. Tenure means nothing if there aren’t enough students to teach.
  • The government scholarship. I found out I was awarded a doctoral fellowship last spring, this was the sign I was looking for to keep plowing through the Ph.D.

My 2014 Priorities

  • Get all research protocols at work up and running (including my dissertation)
  • Tie up loose ends of old research protocols and shut them down
  • Time management…find a way to make everything fit
  • See a psychiatrist

New Priorities for 2015

  • Mental health……talk therapy, art therapy, self-help
  • Make life more of a routine. Incorporate time to be healthy.
  • Figure out work. Is this right for me, or not?

The good news is, my highlights reel was longer than my disappointments (even though some were pretty brutal). I didn’t do well with the time management priority at all. I think I just have to be satisfied with not being able to do everything. This is why I’m thinking coming up with a routine will allow me to get everything in, even though it’s not as often as I would like. My boss wont like the routine, but for my sanity, she’ll have to deal with it. This year I want to focus more on my health. By making my top priorities mostly work related last year, I let my health get out of hand.

Work to live right? Not live to work. Somehow I don’t think that saying was made with grad students in mind.

Happy New Year to you all. I hope your reflections make for a happy and healthy 2015!

Hold on to hope.

Hold on to hope.

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