Self-esteem Challenge: Day 2

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 2:
A physical feature you like.
List 5 things that make you smile or happy.

Physical feature I like: My hair. Like I said in the last post, it’s a unique colour, healthy and for the most part, behaves itself.

5 things that make me smile or happy…I’m going to define “things” as non-living, so that rules out family, friends and pets.

  1. Planning a Vacation. It is always nice to have that anticipatory excitement to get you through the day. I don’t plan my vacations with the hour to hour details, but I do some research on where I’m going and what I want to do/see while I’m there. I enjoy learning about new places too. I spent a week or so planning my 30th birthday trip after I found out we wouldn’t be able to do a trip. Even though I’m not going, planning what I would have done was fun. I don’t remember having to fight my depression that week.

    I wanted to go snorkeling off the cliffs in Negril, Jamaica

    I wanted to go snorkeling off the cliffs in Negril, Jamaica

  2. Extra Time. I am much less stressed when I have time to do the things I need to do and some of the things I want to do. Knowing that I get an extra hour when we turn the clocks back every fall makes me smile.

    aerosmith lyric full circle

    sloppy experiment

  3. Success. Setting a goal and achieving it makes me happy. I will be happy if I get my Ph.D. It doesn’t have to be that big though. Little successes can help too, if I remember to focus on them. For example, getting my eyeliner straight if I decide to wear it or completing my running route in less time.
  4. An excuse to eat cake. I love, love, LOVE cake and I feel much less guilty for eating it when there’s a reason for it. Birthdays are the best reason, how can you say no to birthday cake? Then there are things like retirement parties, baptisms, and bake sales for a good cause. My dad even turned break-ups as an excuse to eat cake. The first time my now-hubby and I broke up, my Dad bought me a cake that said on it “Another one bites the dust”. Good Ol’ break-up cake, lol. 🙂
  5. Jeans that fit. If you’ve ever gone looking for a new pair of jeans, tried on dozens and then got that one pair that slides on like it was made for you, then you’ll know what I mean. I’ve got that big hips/butt, small waist problem that causes jeans to either get stuck mid thigh or have a horrendous gap in the back at the waist. Finding jeans that do fit right without having to wear a belt is the clouds parting and the angels singing kind of a moment.

Progress Report IV

I have to start all over again. With the events of the past week, I have gotten completely off track. It’s been a week since I’ve gone on a run. I’ve been taking time off work for appointments and shock. I also have not been keeping track of what I’ve been eating…plus there was birthday cake. At least I’ve been walking.

I hate starting over again. It’s discouraging. If I don’t want to have to start over in the first place, then I should stop quitting right? I KNOW! Life happens though. You have health problems, your friends need you, there’s birthday cake, and people die. How do you keep going with your plan when all these things come up…never mind when they all happen in the same week?!

So here’s the plan again.

Exercise: Run every other day.

Food: Eat healthy, get the right amount of calories.

Work: Find my mojo.

Psych also gave me homework. What is important to you? This is the question my he wants me to answer. He gave me conditions though. It has to be independent of other people. He says my self-worth is based too much on external things, like my performance at work or other people’s opinions of me. He also told me not to pick the question apart, to just answer it. What immediately comes to mind is does he want me to say what IS important to me, or what I WANT to be important to me? Those are two very different things. For example, what IS important to me is pleasing other people, making them happy. This is dependent on other people though, so I’m not allowed to answer with that. I don’t know what else I would answer with. If the question is what do I WANT to be important to me, that’s easy. I want to my career to be important. I want learning more and being challenged to be important. That’s not the way it is though. I find myself caring less about the things I want to matter every day. Plus, I’m picking apart the question, just like he asked me not to.

What is important to you? How would you answer this question? I need some ideas.

fell and rose again

 

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