F is for Friendship

The A to Z Challenge continues. Today is “F”. I am late posting today because I have been having trouble writing. My friend Lynne has gone in for surgery to get her cancer metastases removed from her liver. This surgery will determine whether she lives or not. Since Lynne wont be able to call me herself, I have been on Facebook all day waiting for an announcement from a family member. Nothing yet.

I did find something else though. I am not on my real Facebook very often, I usually use my alias for the blog. I decided to flip through some old friends I am not in touch with anymore to see what they were up to. I came across a guy I sort of went out with in middle school. Does it even count as going out at that age? Anyway, he died. Cancer. Apparently it happened really fast. For some reason I didn’t think cancer happened that quickly in your twenties. I’m kind of shocked and even more worried about Lynne now.

F is for friendship. F is for faith that Lynne will be ok. Lynne and I aren’t super close yet. She is my husband’s friend, they went to school together. Lynne has always been a bit of a workaholic too. It wasn’t until she started feeling unwell and had to take time off work that I got a chance to get to know her better. Although the circumstances suck, I am glad I got the opportunity to know her better.

Lynne and I actually bonded over mental health. She was having panic attacks at her hospital appointments and had to start seeing various mental health specialists. Since she was confiding all of this in me, I thought it was ok to tell her about my experience. We swapped stories and gave each other recommendations on who to see and what coping strategies to try for sleeping and reducing stress. This is the only time my mental health status was out before the friendship started.

If you have/had mental health problems, would you tell your friends? How do you think they would react? Do you have any friends that have confided in you about their mental health? How did you react?

It is always an internal debate, to bring it up or not? A mental health charity found that 40% of mental health service users were afraid to tell their friends of their condition. One third felt that friendships had already been strained or lost entirely due to their mental health. On the other side of things, 20-25% of people only found out a friend was having trouble after a hospitalization or a suicide attempt.

Friendship isn’t always easy to navigate when you have mental health problems. Friendships can get rocky if you over think them. They can also just fade away if you don’t have the energy to see people or call. Friendship is important though. Your friends are part of your support network. Friends reduce stress and give you more confidence. They are people you can confide in. They celebrate with you, they support you, they keep you grounded and can help you put things in perspective.

Friendship is a two-way street though. To have good friends, you have to be a good friend. Having a mental health problem doesn’t mean you are never able to support or laugh with someone else. I think it is important to put in the effort to maintain friendships, however difficult it may be.

Share Your World 2015 – Week 3

This is Share Your World, a blogging event hosted by Cee’s Photography. Thanks to Cee for all the effort she puts in to coming up with fun new questions every week. Here’s week 3!

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I never know how to answer this question. The thought of having any dinner guest gives me anxiety, nevermind a stranger that I admire. I’m not much of a cook. I usually do easy things, not the kind you’d want try to make a good impression with. I’d go with a friend, familiar and safe! They wouldn’t mind my cheesy taco pasta or sweet potato chilli. If I had to pick a stranger, it would be a chef, someone who would volunteer to cook for me, like Rachael Ray or the guy that drives the toaster-mobile. I think his name is Bob Blummer. He’s called the Surreal Gourmet. Always entertaining.

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I think I was singing in the car Saturday morning while driving to meet a friend for breakfast. “Shake it Off” came on the radio. I couldn’t help myself. The last time I sang to someone else was probably Ewok. I sing to her all the time. I make up dumb songs about how cute she is. I usually take a well known tune and change the lyrics. Hubby hates it (haha), but then he starts singing them too.

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Confidence. I think if I had confidence I would get so much further in life and recover from set backs much quicker.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Sometimes there is a need to joke about serious things, it’s how we cope. I think whatever situation you are in, you have all joking rights. When you are talking about someone else, the rules are different. Rape, abuse, murder, suicide, kidnapping, child molesting….I can’t find humor in these things no matter which way you spin it.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

Last Week: I am always grateful for the support network I have, but especially last week. I don’t have much control over things in my life right now. In order to gain control I need to start making tough decisions about school and what to do about hubby’s job situation. I have hubby, friends and family I can discuss these things with. I know some people aren’t so lucky. This is something I’ll never take for granted.

This Week: I am looking forward to doing some more art journaling and getting some new Lego minifigures. *Please, please, PLEASE let me get the unicorn!*