Self-esteem Challenge: Day 17

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 17:
Another thing you like about yourself.
What do you do to feel calmer when you’re stressed?

Another thing I like about myself?! Umm…..I don’t know, I think I’ve covered it all already. Let’s see….my ears? I am thankful I have healthy ears….*knocks on wood*. I’ve never had an ear infection or any ear pain. Sure, I’ve gotten water logged, but it was never that bad. I have my ears pierced (one hole each) and I’ve never had trouble with that. My ears are tiny too. I feel a bit like a fairy tale character when people exclaim “My, what small ears you have!”. I know a lot of people who are self-conscious about their ears for some reason or another, or people who constantly get ear infections, have to wear plugs to swim or have had to have surgery for something. I like my ears because they don’t give me something else to stress about. So thank you ears for behaving yourselves.

I eat cake and watch a movie to calm myself down. The movie depends on the level of stress I’m feeling. A low stress level requires a feel-good movie. One of those movies I’ve watched a million times. Sometimes I draw with my cake and feel-good movie. If it’s really high stress, I have to watch a movie I haven’t seen before. If I haven’t seen it, I’m more likely to get immersed in it and shut my brain off. Turning my brain off for a little while is the only way I can cope with stress. Most of the time, things are a little clearer when I turn my brain back on. I just have to hope the movie is good enough to distract me.

Self-esteem Challenge: Day 3

This blog challenge was developed by betterthandarkchocolate.tumblr.com. If you missed the introduction or want to see a summary of all the questions, go here.

Day 3:
A part of your personality that you like.
What is one fear or goal that you would like to conquer?

I like that I am kind. I think it’s important to be kind. I don’t like the word “nice” but, I’m trying to get over it. I always used to think of “nice” as something you say about someone you don’t really know or has no personality to define themselves with. People always described me as “nice”. I was starting to look at it as a negative. Kind of like when you get called “cute” instead of “beautiful”. Puppies and kitties are “cute”, flowers are “nice”. I want to be beautiful and generous. Anyway, now I’m trying to look at “nice” as a broad term that could mean kind and generous too.

Fear or goal huh? A goal would be too obvious…the Ph.D. I think overcoming my fear of making mistakes would help me a lot. I have tried in terms of drawing. I started with zentangles, you can read about it here. It helped a lot. Now I am able to draw again where as before I was too stressed about the outcome to actually start. I’d like to work on this fear in regards to work. In research there will always be a lot that I don’t know how to do. Being afraid of doing it wrong is really holding me back. It causes me to procrastinate and think that I don’t deserve to be where I am. Making mistakes is part of learning. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you are doomed. It means you are making progress and that’s better than not doing anything. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

F.E.A.R. Forget Everything and Run or Face Everything and Rise. Your choice.

Z for Zentangles

I love zentangles!

What are zentangles?

Zentangles are a method of drawing structured, repetitive patterns. Repetitive = relaxation and focus. I find it’s a good way to clear my head. When you look at a zentangle for the first time, it looks complicated. The whole idea behind zentangles is that you can do anything, but one step at a time. You focus on the patterns, not your preconceived idea of what the final result should be. Without an expectation in mind, it is easier to make mistakes.

I HATE making mistakes! It stops me from trying a lot of new things because I want to do everything perfectly the first time.

When I was younger, I fancied myself an artist. I never went a day without doodling something. As I got older, that all changed. I stopped drawing and it wasn’t until recently I realized why I stopped. It was my fear of mistakes.

Well who likes making mistakes right? No one. I let my fear of making mistakes stop me from doing something I enjoyed. Drawing suddenly became something stressful so I started avoiding it. This became a trend. I let the fear of making mistakes stop me from doing a lot of things….my fears started to affect my work, my relationships and my well-being. Something had to change.

Mistakes are part of life, they are unavoidable and the sooner you accept that, the better. The key to living through mistakes is to not let the situation get out of control. You can make A LOT of mistakes before you lose control. I found this kind of comforting. So, I decided to start small. Applying this thinking to drawing makes it seem silly to have stopped. Being creative is allowing yourself to make mistakes. It is the mistakes that make your work unique.

I’ve been doing zentangles for a while now. It has made it easier to start doodling again. I’m hoping to apply this to the rest of life. I think breaking things into smaller steps will make tasks seem less overwhelming and not being so rigid about the outcome will keep me from being disappointed and hating myself when I do make mistakes.

Here’s how to do a zentangle:

1. Start with a blank piece of paper. Traditional zentangles are 3.5″ by 3.5″. You can do whole pages if you want, but the small size is much less intimidating.
2. Make four dots, one in each corner of the paper.
3. Connect the dots using straight lines, wavy lines or create a shape.
4. Draw lines through your outline. This creates sections.
5. Choose a tangle to fill in a section. There are so many to choose from. I use this site as my tangle pattern library: http://tanglepatterns.com/tag/zentangle They show you a pattern and the step-by-step instructions to draw it for yourself.
6. Use a different tangle in each section.

 

Zentangle Experiment

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise

H.O.P.E. Hold on, pain ends

Three Zencircles

Live, Laugh, Love.

Zentangle Flowers

Zencircle

Zencircle – Colour

Zentangle Tile with Star

Zentangles for getting over the fear of making mistakes

When I was younger, I fancied myself an artist. I never went a day without doodling something. As I got older, that all changed. I stopped drawing and it wasn’t until recently I realized why I stopped. I hate making mistakes!

Well who likes making mistakes right? No one. I let my fear of making mistakes stop me from doing something I enjoyed. Drawing suddenly became something stressful so I started avoiding it. This became a trend. I let the fear of making mistakes stop me from doing a lot of things….my fears started to affect my work, my relationships and my well-being. Something had to change.

Mistakes are part of life, they are unavoidable and the sooner you accept that, the better. The key to living through mistakes is to not let the situation get out of control. You can make A LOT of mistakes before you lose control. This made sense to me, so I decided to start small. Applying this thinking to drawing makes it seem silly to have stopped. Being creative is allowing yourself to make mistakes. It is the mistakes that make your work unique.

To get back into drawing, I started with zentangles. What is a zentangle? It’s a method of drawing structured, repetitive patterns. Repetitive = relaxation and focus. I find it’s a good way to clear your head. When you look at a zentangle for the first time, it looks complicated. The whole idea behind zentangles is that you can do anything, but one step at a time. You focus on the patterns, not your preconceived idea of what the final result should be. Without an expectation in mind, it is easier to make mistakes.

I’ve been doing zentangles for a while. It has helped. It has made it easier to start doodling again. I’m hoping to apply this to the rest of life. I think breaking things into smaller steps will make tasks less overwhelming and not being so rigid about the outcome will keep me from being disappointed and hating myself when I do make mistakes.

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones… “

One of my zentangle circles

Here’s how to do a zentangle:

1. Start with a blank piece of paper. Traditional zentangles are 3.5″ by 3.5″. You can do whole pages if you want, but the small size is much less intimidating.
2. Make four dots, one in each corner of the paper.
3. Connect the dots using straight lines, wavy lines or create a shape.
4. Draw lines through your outline. This creates sections.
5. Choose a tangle to fill in a section. There are so many to choose from. I use this site as my tangle pattern library: http://tanglepatterns.com/tag/zentangle They show you a pattern and the step-by-step instructions to draw it for yourself.
6. Use a different tangle in each section.